Oscarbait’s DCM show, directed by Bart A. Cosi:
Made for Marriage (2007)
Premiered August 15, 2009
Inspired by: “She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo” from ‘Drops of Jupiter’ by Train
Genre: Renee Zellweger RomCom VehicleJennifer Albright (Renee Zellweger) (Lauren Conlin Adams) didn’t have much going on in her life. And that’s the understatement of a century!! Besides her three feral cats, this 30 something spinster hasn’t had contact from another living thing in some time. OUCH! Her best friend Ricardo (Brian Glidewell), a hot-to-trot, late 20s, popular, party animal, who’s gay…ooh no luck there Jennifer!, tries to convince Jennifer that she’s never going to meet the man of her dreams if she just stays cooped up in her Cincinnati studio apartment, wearing her sweatshirt and ugly face. Oh boy, what’s a girl to do when all she’s looking for is a boy to love her, which is really all any girl really wants.
Enter Dr. Stan Cunningham (Matt Culter). A dreamy, handsome, sunburst of a man. Yummo! The most well-renowned plastic surgeon in Cincinnati, Stan has made a life of helping others, whether it be giving cosmetic surgery addict Ms. Abernathy (Jessica Stickles) the rack she’s always wanted or whether it be taking care of three misfortunate children: Wheels (Eddie Brawley), Chong (Kirk Damato), and… Another kid…I know there’s another kid. I think he’s black? Andrew maybe? (Josh Patten). Anyways, one day when he lets Wheels lead the surgery on Ms. Abernathy, it occurs to Stan that while he can make the perfect pair of breasts, he can’t make himself the perfect woman to fall in love with. Where’s a delicious single, wealthy single man to go to find the perfect woman to be his wife to take care of him and his three (I think it’s three) adopted kids? (Call me, call me!)
Enter The Cincinnati Scoop, the famous Cincinnati Ice Cream parlor. One day, Jennifer is there (of course) eating a sink full of ice cream (of course) with her married friends (of course! God this is like my life!). As Jennifer attempts to leave, she clumsily trips right into the path of Dr. Stan Cunningham (oh my god, I wish that had been me!) The two lock eyes and it seems they lock hearts as well.
But before true love can take flight, an evil, unnecessary foe stands in the way. While waiting for Stan at the Cincinnati Carnival, Jennifer is met by the slimy, ice faced, fang mouthed Granville (Tim Martin). He plans to seduce Jennifer in order to take advantage of her for a cover shoot for Fashion, the fashion magazine he works for. The cover shoot “Ugly Pathetic Girls. Let’s Make Fun of Them.” He manages to smooth talk Jennifer into his helicopter, but Jennifer soon realizes Granville is not all he seems (duh! I could have told you that Jennifer! God eat something!) On a ferris wheel nearby, Stan sits with Wheels, Chong and… , bummed that he has been seemingly stood up by Jennifer. But suddenly, Stan’s keen eye spots Jennifer in Granville’s helicopter. In an act of love, Stan leaps from the ferris wheel to the helicopter to save her but is he too late… (I wish a guy would call me back let alone jump onto a helicopter!)
Will Jennifer and Stan end up together? What do you think the circulation quantity is for Fashion Magazine? Were there really three kids or just two?
With the title song “Made for Marriage” performed by Norah Jones, get ready to find out that, short of a great plastic surgeon, love is the greatest makeover of all.
