COMEDY FLASHBACK WEEK 2009!
Flashback with *Eddie Brawley
“This is from a 30 Rock spec script I wrote in the spring of 2008. One of the plots was that Liz had bought a new purse and it had bed bugs in it. But lo and behold, in episode 4 of season 4, “Audition Day,” Jack gets bed bugs.
Basically the only similarities are that bed bugs are mentioned and Kenneth is the first one to recognize them because he knows about them from his crappy hometown. My script ended with Jack getting rid of the bed bugs by burning everything on the entire floor and replacing it.
The dog referenced in this scene is from a fake TGS sketch called Dog Driving Instructor.” - Eddie Brawley
EDDIE’S 30 ROCK SCENE THAT WAS FOREVER RUINED ON THURSDAY
WRITERS’ ROOM HALLWAY/BACKSTAGE HALLWAY - LATER
(PETE and LIZ walk together. They both scratch themselves often.)
PETE
So where’s your special new bag?LIZ
Oh that? It’s not a big deal.PETE
You were pretty eager to be seen with it earlier. You said you felt like giving yourself a treat.LIZ
No, I was just making fun of people who say that.PETE
No, you were definitely proud of it. You said you even got a great deal on it, since it was definitely real.(Liz drops the facade.)
LIZ
Don’t remind me.PETE
Why? What about it?(They turn the corner and run into KENNETH.)
KENNETH
Y’all look like you got bed bugs.(Pete puts 2 and 2 together.)
PETE
(really concerned)
Are you serious?LIZ
Shhh!KENNETH
Did somebody go mattress shopping at the dump?LIZ
What?KENNETH
That’s how we got ‘em once back home. For Christmas Daddy took his truck and got us new beds. And new pets! Now y’all look like you got pets!PETE
Did you get your purse from a dump?LIZ
No! This place in Chinatown. The lady told me it was real!PETE
It’s fake too?KENNETH
That’s good because you might have to burn it.LIZ AND PETE
What?KENNETH
The only way to get rid of ‘em for sure is to burn everything they might have got on. Well unless you like them. I liked them because they didn’t bite me.LIZ
They didn’t bite you?KENNETH
Actually we couldn’t tell if they did because I had such bad poison ivy anyway. But I liked them!PETE
That’s disgusting.LIZ
I am going to march right down there and get my money back.PETE
Where did you say you got it?LIZ
I forget the name of the place exactly. It was right off Canal St. Next to some place with lots of meat and fireworks in the front window.PETE
I think you’d better kiss that money goodbye, Liz.LIZ
Damn! I needed that!(Kenneth points into the studio.)
KENNETH
Looks like they got pets too.ANGLE ON the studio door: The CAST and CREW are all scratching themselves while trying to rehearse a sketch with a dog standing on a desk.
LIZ
(to Pete)
Look, we have to break this news slowly.END.
*Festival performer
